1st broken bone of my 5 children!

Oh goodness...my once a month post was nearing a deadline!  I truly want to blog every week, but time just doesn't allow that to happen.  Sometimes I think in blog, it sounds like this "If I was to blog today I would talk about the crushed barbie I walked over in the road today, because some days that is how I feel!" or "today I would write about the man at church who commented on my large family and how much laundry I must do and when I asked him if he would like to come help sometime...he said no he already put his time in as a parent and did laundry, but he could give me money to take it to the laundry mat"  or "today I would write about Silas' broken arm and the freak trampoline accident (true story) and how we spent hours in the hospital and how God was faithful....ok so that is what I will write about tonight.

Last Wednesday was homeschool gymnastics day!  WoooHooo...so fun!  Friends, lots of friends...running, jumping, bouncing all in one big room with an awesome gymnastics coach and cool beams, bars, tramps etc.  My two littles Si & K are usually at public school during this time but it was Spring Break, so they went with us.  They love the long tramp and jumping into the foam pit.  And had we just stayed there, all would have been smooth sailing but instead we went to the extra bouncy trampoline.  Not the type you have in your backyard.  No this beast shoots you FEET into the air.  Silas has never been great on his feet anyway, and I had just shared that with the Momma next to me.

 Minutes later my little man went up and came down, landing ON THE TRAMPOLINE, but also ON HIS ARM.  He cried. I thought for sure he dislocated his shoulder based upon the way he landed. I saw it all... Neck hyper extended, shoulder pushed down.  I picked up my baby.  He was whiny, not screaming.  I took him to the coach who looked it over and suggested taking him for an X-Ray.  (I wondered while driving one block to the ER if THAT location to build the gym was perfectly thought out!)  In my mind we are gonna jump in, get it popped back in and be on our way.  NOT.WHAT. HAPPENED!  We got right into the ER, but...

 (warning small rant)...why, oh why do they feel the need to take blood pressure and weight with a child crying out in pain???  Hellloooooo!  (don't comment and tell me why, I really don't care...I know its protocol, but its still ridiculous).  Within an hour they gave him morphine and confirmed it was indeed broke.  And by this time, you could also see it poking out above his elbow.  And he was crying, scared and just wanted Daddy.

Brett was on his way to the hospital by this time.  I'm a weenie and don't do hospital visits or doctor visits by myself with four kids.  Its ok, I have come to accept this of myself.  Not an area I'm strong in.  But Brett also doesn't do broken bones well!  Having had broken SEVEN of his own during his lifetime, its understandable.  He is texting "I can't do this!"  I finally tell him he is gonna have to man up because this is HIS child!!!!  Who has been crying for him since I picked him up off the trampoline!  We team it so good together, cause I don't do IVs!  Brett stays with him for that and I stay with him for the temporary set.  Its perfect!  God is GOOD!

Not only was God good is teaming Brett and I together as awesome parents and that Si's arm was only broken and not broken through the skin seeping blood, but he was also GOOD in providing 2 wonderful Christian homeschooling Mommas to step up to the plate to watch my other two kids (who were still at gymnastics).  These two God sends are so sweet.  They kept my older two kiddos the better part of the day.  Fed them, prayed over Silas with them gave them toys and company with their little friends...it was wonderful!  AND while I took K with me to the cafeteria to grab lunch, God dropped another angel in our lap who paid for all of our lunch!  I hadn't felt so much love from other Mommas in a long time.

After the IV and arm were set, it was then time to wait for the doctor....and we all know how this goes!  They operate on a different clock than the rest of the world.

I went home with K and we grabbed an hour nap before the other kids came home.  We all had supper together and then a wonderful couple offered to stay with all three kids and put them to bed, so I could be at the hospital when Si came out of surgery.  No one offers to do this for free...ever!

Si finally went in for surgery at 4:35pm.  The Doc was GREAT.  Well known in our area and has a good reputation for his work.  He answered my questions and Si was recovering very well.  We were all home by 8pm.

God was faithful.  God was merciful.  God was kind, rather generous really.  It wasn't at all the day I had planned, but it was the day God had planned.  Isaiah 55:8  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. And Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  These verses filter through my head as I sit in my messed up, unplanned day!

Here are two pics, I hope to post the one of Si and Brett soon...it is precious (its on my phone).  God Bless.

Rest

Its Monday.  Mondays are always rough.  Gettin back into the swing of things...homeschooling, messes from the weekend, a pile of laundry that is screaming my name...life.  Today I have a head cold and the earth is covered in a blanket of white.  Its freezing outside.  I'm content to stay inside ALL day.  I'm takin it easy...drinkin coffee and listenin to HighRoad "Angel at the crossroads" CD...lovin it!  I'm reflecting on the weekend we had.  In spite of head colds we still had our Valentines Day Party.  Our first one as homeschoolers.  Feb 14th marked one year to the day that we brought our children home to be with us all the time, to be educated here at home.  One of the scariest but most rewarding and challenging things we ever did.  We celebrated Valentines Day with two homeschool families that are near and dear to us.  We talked about that day one year ago and how it was the best decision for our family. We chatted over yummy sweets, played a few games with 15 wonderful kiddos (and legos and dolls), took some fun silly photos, laughed and smiled and ate lunch together.  We were encouraged.

Yesterday at church...I was so blessed!   As I walked into church I spotted his tiny little precious face....a boy I once knew.  He was just a baby, but dearly loved and cared for through foster care. He is nine now.  Interesting how God crosses paths in life.

I'm reminded how faithful God is. In the midst of pain and suffering and confusion He is here.  The battle is won. And yet this side of heaven is anything but pain free. I get sad when I think about kiddos without a mommy or daddy because of death, cancer or neglect etc.  The bondage of addiction and the pain it causes. Satan's lies to seek and destroy.  But the battle is WON! It is FINISHED. There is victory in His truths.  I wanna rest in that...peace.

Hebrews 13:8  "Jesus Christ IS the same yesterday and today and forever."

Community Service 101

Homeschooling creates opportunities for me and my children that a public education would not (or not as easily).  A couple months ago I decided to pursue (more diligently) opportunities to cultivate compassion in the hearts of my children. Its not mad science, children are not born compassionate creatures.  Compassion must be taught and learned. I desire my children to be compassionate. More is taught through seeing than hearing, and even more so through DOING. 

In November our church presented the opportunity to to deliver food baskets. Brett and I agreed this would be a fun family adventure (nothing more, nothing less) but this is where the idea was born. My children were able to see and do.  They were able to see what "being the hands and feet of Jesus" is. Our Pastor closes Sunday service with "Let's go be the hands and feet of Jesus." Hearing this is not foreign to them.  As part of their school routine I decided to implement a community service project once a month.  My goal was to create opportunity for them to be a blessing to others and learn compassion. I trusted the Lord to provide safe, fun, secure, outreach projects that me and my children could do together. 

December came and went so fast that, well honestly, it just didn't happen. But God was working because it was during that time I was at Standing Stone (a local community center that aims to provide assistance to families and individuals in need of food, clothing, households etc, ran by Ms. Dawn) searching the books, like I do every month, that an opportunity was born.  My kids love going to Standing Stone and they love books.  I asked Ms. Dawn if she would be ok with us coming and donating our time to Standing Stone. She happily agreed and I was so thankful.

Yesterday was our first day. We were going to arrange, sort and organize books. We started here at home. Heart check. I wanted to make sure our hearts were in the right place.  No boasting, no doing it to puff ourselves up or to make us look good, or to get something etc. I sat my children down and I asked them, "We are going to be a blessing, so how should our attitudes be? Why are we going to help Ms. Dawn?" I was blown away by their answers!  Eli said, "to give God glory, and we should be happy."  Zahavah said, "to help Ms. Dawn and love others, be cheerful."  None of it was prompted or talked about before we sat down, not in relation to this project. Sure we talk often about why we help others, but I didn't "get," that they GET IT until we sat and did a heart check before we left. Note to self...Always do heart check, especially my own.

Life and its opportunities are not cookie cutter perfect, not by a long shot. We had a great time helping Ms. Dawn, but I learned a lot too.  I learned that cultivating compassion takes time and patience. Both of my children did great, but attention spans are short. Little Miss. Z just couldn't handle more than an hour, she was DONE. She got tired and her spirit changed. It was ok, really. She is young and needed a break. I'm confident she will grow. I'm confident she will work through being ok with the books toppling over and not staying up as she would like. What a great place to handle such frustrations! And I'm their to guide her, offer a break and grace. God is molding her! Eli was in heaven. He is just like his Momma...loves books, arranging, organizing..as long as they are not his own! :)  He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay and come back every week. He was in his soft sweet spot, a place that feels so comfortable and peaceful time flies by too quickly.

I thank God for these opportunities.  I thank God that I am their Momma. I thank God that I am there and can steer them in the right direction and present them with moments of grace and discipline. I love being their Mom, their helper, their encourager.

8 yrs ago today...

Its January 5th, 2007 6pm in the evening.  My dear friend Elisha Houk-Farmer is shooting some fantastic pictures of me and my fantastically huge belly.  I'm due any day, a boy!  I always dreamed of having a son. Elisha knows how to work magic, she is draping me, turning me, adding Brett into a couple shots.  You wouldn't know it, but this is her FIRST pregnancy shoot.  I talked her into it because I wanted these pictures so bad...and I trusted Elisha to deliver something beautiful.  This wouldn't be the last family photo shoot with Elisha, but it would be the last one with me in labor! She noticed my face turning red, and asked if I was ok.  Sure!  I was having a blast.  Who knew you could be in labor and have a great time shooting pics?  She was more concerned about me than the pictures...gasp!  :)  I insisted I was fine and that we keep shooting.  Three hours later we finished the shoot and I told Brett that we were indeed in labor.  He panics a bit.  Hustles and bustles about and we head to Champaign.  Its close to midnight. I think.  We are so relieved that we got the pics taken. We let Elisha know we were on our way to the hospital, we all laughed a bit. And then it all starts to happen so fast. Its so exciting...the arrival of a precious fragile life. Hand knit by God with the best parts of me, and the best parts of Brett and the wonder of our Majestic creator.
He is beautiful.  Every finger and toe accounted for. And his Daddy's earlobes...I love those ears. The perfect all natural birth, made possible by our fantastic midwife. Its in those moments...when everything collides into perfection, hand orchestrated only by our heavenly Father that I rejoice in his faithfulness.  He is so good to us.  We truly are blessed beyond measure.  HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY ELI DANIEL FREY!

January 6th, 2007 at 2:11am

7 pounds 8 oz.  19.5 inches long.

Midwife: Cathy Hinton

Happy New Year!!!!!

I have managed to post at least once a month for a few consecutive months!  Bravo! (rolls eyes).  Ok on to more important matters.  A few of my friends are really great about setting goals for the new year. Two years ago I started taking it a bit more serious.  I was in the midst of a recovery program for childhood trauma issues and wanted to make some serious permanent changes in my life. Unfortunately 2013 goals were not written down (well, I'm sure they were...but no where to be found now), but I do remember that I finished the intense recovery group that I was in and found some healing from some deep wounds, I also read the Bible from cover to cover and I started making some different choices.  One of those choices was to live life intentionally and live in the today.  Setting goals, no matter how big or small helps me live life intentionally.  It keeps me focused, less "SQUIRREL" moments.  In 2014...
1.  I became more patient...this was on my list and my children claim that I have indeed done so, but honestly I don't think I can agree with them.
2.  I definitely read more.  In 2013 I read one book a month which is huge for me, 2014 was pretty good too.
3. Got a mentor!  God given blessing!
4.  I hoped to get more Eli intiated hugs and kisses and I DID!!!!!

Out with the old and in with the new!!!!


I have used my friend's format that she adopted from Money Savings Mom...

My 12 Goals for 2015

Marriage

• Date night at least once a month
• Encourage & build Brett up more
• Commit to our devotional every morning together

Motherhood

• Read more with them
• Learn to whisper
• Date more
• Perhaps plan a wedding

Myself

• Complete a pin (pinterest) one a month...anything recipe, craft etc.
• Run 5-5Ks (very ambitious)
• Be encouraging to my friends
• Reach out and help a family in need
• Take a class to learn something new (art, dance, etc)

Money

• Get out of debt, we were completely debt free (minus house) and then we got a new van...grrrr.
• Live intentionally with the mindset LESS IS MORE, I'm a bargain addict.  No matter how great the bargain, its still $ I'm spending and STUFF I don't need.

Gingerbread House

We have decorated our home for Christmas.  I love it.  I enjoy creating our home into a space of beauty and sparkles with handmade items by the kids, my Willow Tree Nativity, the Santa that slowly moves his arms and ofcourse our bratty elf Markle Fisby.

Eli and I were admiring his Gingerbread house he made during his last December at St. Johns School.  Its so neat....with a cardboard milk carton as it base and each little gumdrop in its place, a pretzel chimney, a chewy ring for a wreath and a candy cane at the door.  Precious!  All held together by glue, so it would last years.

We had such a long day yesterday.  Started the morning at the tree farm picking out tree our and playing tree farm tag in the mud (it rained the whole day before, thank goodness for mud boots). Then Zahavah and I enjoyed a tea party, decorated our tree in the afternoon and spent the evening enjoying Christmas in the Heart of Charleston.  Busy, busy, day.

As Brett and I were rounding up the children for bed.  I noticed Z was chomping on something.  I said, "Z whats in your mouth?"  She was hesitant to tell me, but we have been "driving home" how important it is to always tell the truth.  Z confessed, "its a candy off that Gingerbread house!"  (insert jaw drop and chuckle here)  Me:  "Z THAT house isn't like the ones we made last year with icing, that house was made with glue, its not for eating, its just for decoration!  Go spit that out and brush your teeth again."  It was one of those many moments that I love as a mommy...cute and innocent.

But it makes me wonder...how many things in our life are we tempted to enjoy that were NOT meant for us.  What do you need to spit out of your life?

 Tree Farm

 Wonderful tea party

 Christmas in the Heart of Charleston

Notice the candy cane at the door is missing...chomp chomp!

Absolute best & worst...

I'm not gonna lie, I'm too transparent for that anyways...being a stay at home mom of four and homeschooling two of them is HARD.  (yes, I'm very aware of the Super Moms out there that have 5+++ kids and homeschool all of them...they are AMAZING)!  Don't compare, that's Satan's work.
Last night as I walked into Bible Study, I was blunt...I THINK THEY WANT TO KILL ME, FINISH ME OFF!  I walked straight to our study room and laid flat on the floor.  I was having a moment.
It was a long exhausting two hours from 4-6pm, the Golden Hours for meltdowns, bickering, fights. Push Mommy to her limits and then push some more.  They push every button I have (even those I didn't realize I had).  They all want a drink of water at the sametime from the frig that is right in front of the stove...where I am trying to cook.  They all want to listen to Christmas songs on my iphone right next to the stove (no not at the kitchen table, its too far from ME).  They run the circle in our home like a track (do you have a circle?), they are LOUD.  They want into the snack drawer even though I'm COOKING!  I know, I know....I'll miss these days.
Back to Bible Study...we are studying James.  You know JAMES 1...Count it all JOY, whenever you face trials, the testing of your faith produces PERSEVERANCE (paraphrase).  Yep that James.  Our challenge from the week prior was to pick one of three (darn, I can't remember all three) but mine was to be SLOW TO ANGER.  I wish I could say that I have persevered and mastered it.  But I'm sad to say I have not!  Not even close!
I'm still convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is using my children to prune me.  My children bring out my absolute best....I am called a fun Mom, the bestest Mommy ever, and I make the bestest treats, buy the bestest foods, have fun crafts and tons of kisses, hugs and tickles!  But my worst also comes out.  I'm a yeller, even when I'm not mad.  I hate it.  Its a deep rooted, rotten ugly root that not only needs yanked out, but I need some serious repellent so it doesn't come back, maybe even a plastic barrier would help...right over my mouth!  GOD IS FAITHFUL!
And as much as I could sit in this place of UGH and just hate this character flaw, I don't.  I'm sure that is what Satan would LOVE.  For me to just accept it and carry on as if it has no impact.  That is a lie!!!  A load of crap!  It does have lasting effects.  My short temper and my loud voice do hurt.  I am working on it, everyday.  I don't accept it.  I truly do hate it.  I want to be slow to anger, slow to respond, quick to hear, quick to kiss and hug, quick to apologize and quick to forgive as well.  And I'm sure that is what God wants me to do too.
My children are amazing, I want to even say PERFECT (but I won't because you know....every parents in the world will be leaving comments about how their children are perfect and I'm psycho, I maybe but that's besides the point)!  My children are quick to forgive!  They are precious.  We (Brett & I) are very transparent with them.  We want them to know yelling is wrong and not as God desires a family to be...and they do know.  They (crazy as it sounds) call us out when we are raising our voice.  They know our goals (we all have goals in our home, but that's another post)
The most BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS thing about my absolute worst is (yes, there is something beautiful about it).  God is right there.  Meeting me right at that moment, never a minute late.  All I really need to do it stop and give it all to him.  Its not mine to carry anyways.  Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."  That scripture is so comforting.  He doesn't give up on me!  He wants to be my strength when I am weak!  There is always hope for my failures when Jesus Christ is my Light.  Never a day late, never a dollar short, his love never runs out on me!