Saturday, May 24, 2014

How it all started...

     I'm excited!  We started a new adventure in our family this past Valentines Day!  We pulled our children out of their wonderful (and I do mean wonderful) Lutheran school to HOMESCHOOL!  Yep that big H word that everyone is judgemental about. Oh...I should tell you...the word SCHOOL...makes me stomach turn, so you may have to figure it out as you read, you may read "learning" or "learn" in place of school. SQUIRREL, some say rabbit trail!  Back to where I was...I'm going to share a journal entry with you from six days after we started homeschooling and how we got to where we are today and what God is doing:
Why I homeschool....
     I homeschool because I felt like God laid it upon my heart; not recently really - the 1st time I ever visited Classical Conversations was when Eli, my now seven year old was 3 or 4!  I wish I could say I was cheerful and enthusiastic about God's idea, but I was not!  Sure homeschooled kids are smart and respectful; with moms who have it all together - they too are smart and well, extremely patient, organized know who I'm talking about.  My kids fit the bill easy enough, but I do NOT.  I dragged my feet, kicked and screamed...all in my head ofcourse.  I chatted friend's ears off about this crazy heart tug God was doing and why it was such a bad -no- CRAZY HORRIFIC idea!
     During those rebellious (yes, that's what its called when God calls you to something and you ignore him) months (oh wait, I mean years), one could say I was stubborn!  Take a big leap back...when Eli was 3/4 we were working our way through an International adoption (see pic, I know they are beautiful), not just one child but TWO (that's a WHOLE BIG STORY, see other blog).  I had no problem being obedient when it came to something I wanted to do, even if it was ADOPTION!  I could shove the adoption to the front of my excuses to God and quiet him for awhile.  But my boys would come home from Ethiopia super sick (picture longggg nights and days of vomit & massive amounts of diarrhea x2).  God was gracious during those hellacious (I made that word up, nm Webster has it, darn) times.  Eli attended St. Johns but a year and a half would pass and God was still nudging at my heart, I finally had to tell Brett (my hubby) again.
     Brett was not on board!  What a relief!  There is NO way I would do it without my husband's support or blessing and besides many homeschoolers had told me not to do it unless we were both in agreement.  Well, easy enough - I swept it under the rug and continued on.
     Then Eli started asking to be homeschooled during second grade, around Thanksgiving.  Daddy still said no and for awhile I was ok with that.  But then a shift happened (yes our children were praying to be homeschooled...Zahavah a Kindergartener had joined Eli).  I could see my son's heart.  As I started seeing more of Eli's heart and desire to be homeschooled - my heart changed too.
    Now, the honesty part...What was once heel draggin turned into FEAR!  I knew I wasn't (still not) your cookie cutter homeschool mom (I'm not cookie cutter anything) - NOTHING in my house is organized, well yes it is but only I understand my system.  I'm not in any play groups or social gatherings and I don't have 6 plus kids...only five and one is grown and moved out.  Like I said I hardly fit the bill.  This fear dug its claws into me.  I had a good rationalizations for why this was a bad idea.  But God's calling plus my son's heart became too loud to ignore.  I couldn't ignore it or push it away any longer.  So together I joined my children in prayer.  If this is what God was calling us to, God had to change Daddy's heart.  Daddy was by no means the "bad guy," he was trying to keep us above water (remember the diarrhea and vomit, lots of sleepless nights too).  I LOVE that Brett was trying to analyze it all out (like his engineer mind was designed to do), have it make sense, I appreciate that about him.  But I did have to tell Brett - I want to cause I feel God is calling us to it and with Eli's spirit, it makes sense but I'm scared.
     Well, its time to go garage salin' you will have to wait for part two!  Gotta go find some treasures!

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